The difference between strength and courage

My yoga instructor read this poem at the end of class one day and it really hit home for me. As someone who prides herself on being "strong" and viewing it as an essential component of success, this poem challenged my long-standing belief system. I realized as a mental health worker, it is critical that I also convey this message to my clients so they understand that "strength" is good in some situations and bad in others. Isn't this true with all our qualities? It seems that in life, success may be contingent upon figuring out when to utilize our qualities and when to put them on the back shelf. I use this exercise in a group therapy setting sometimes where I ask my clients to come up with their best characteristic, the one quality they are the most proud of -- this is usually an easy thing for people to do. What is more difficult, though, is the process of figuring out when that strength is a bad thing -- when it can lead them astray, cause them to make a bad decision, or miss an opportunity. One example of this is a client who was a car salesman. He was the most engaging, eloquent speaker I've met in a long time. He practically talked himself out of a 500 dollar bill just because he is quick on his feet, makes fast decisions, and is great at working people. He acknowledged this as his "best" quality. When asked how this gets him in trouble sometimes, he replied, "Never. It's always good. It helps me sell cars and be successful." When I asked him to think through any time that it had gotten him in trouble, he finally answered. Well, I guess it's prevented me from ever doing anything other than selling cars. I had the opportunity to go to college and to marry the girl of my dreams, but when faced with the decision to make a quick buck selling cars and moving to Colorado, I quickly decided to give up an education and my girl. I guess if I had thought through it a little bit more, I might have a college education and wife by now." So, I encourage you to think about what are your qualities that you have the most pride in, that you think are your best? Now, consider what situations they might not be such a great thing, and might lead you astray. This poem, "the difference between strength and courage" is a great display of looking at how a quality normally correlated with success, strength, could be a "bad" thing in some circumstances.

The Difference Between Strength & Courage

It takes strength to be firm;
it takes courage to be gentle.

It takes strength to stand guard;
it takes courage to let down your guard.

It takes strength to conquer;
it takes courage to surrender.

It takes strength to be certain;
it takes courage to have doubt.

It takes strength to fit in;
it takes courage to stand out.

It takes strength to feel a friend’s pain;
it takes courage to feel your own.

It takes strength to hide your pains;
it takes courage to show them.

It takes strength to endure abuse;
it takes courage to stop it.

It takes strength to stand alone;
it takes courage to lean on another.

It takes strength to love;
it takes courage to be loved.

It takes strength to survive;
it takes courage to live.

-Unknown Author