Best Practices for Parents of Athletes

As I go to my alma mater tonight to do a presentation for parents night for spring sports, 2009, I prepared some material for parents on best practices when you have a child who is an athlete.

“Best Practices” for Parents of Student-Athletes

Do not threaten your child – it does not work as a motivator.

Do not take away privileges if they do not perform to your expectations.

It is okay to expect your child to put in time/energy/commitment to practice.

Let their coach handle the feedback/coaching.

The only yelling your child should hear is “Good Job!” “Way to go!” etc.

Try to avoid letting your child see your differing reactions to winning or losing. Reinforce the effort, not the outcome.

Talk about the match after the emotion has died down – not in the car after. Talking to a child after a game is one of the worst things to do. It’s one of the reasons that nearly 50 percent of children ages 5 to 12 surveyed don’t want their parents to attend their games. Wait a day to casually ask your kid how they felt about the sport. Cushion the conversation by offering praise.

Communicate with your child about what they want/need from you when they win or lose. It shouldn’t be a guessing game. They will tell you exactly what they want.

Do not interfere with a match while it’s going on – do not pace, do not take off your tennis shoe, and do not leave the match when they are losing.

Be sensitive to how much involvement your child wants from you.

Your job is to be supportive, and to stick up for your child.

Option A: Leave stuff up to your child completely; Option B: Leave it up to your child with some help from the parent; Option C: Parent driven with your child giving some input. The best option here is B. Today, kids should have the most say with us as guides or coaches. That would make you more of a ‘behind the scenes’ parent in a way. A, however, is better than C.